In May I broken the promise to myself to post a blog every month. Its was such an intense rollercoaster that something had to give! In that same period I have also forgiven myself as I’m not a superwoman (despite me feeling like I am) and that I have prioritise too. I will reveal all about my May adventures soon, I just need to put it in some kind of order.
Two weeks ago, I celebrated my 39th birthday. That morning, I woke up with a slight hangover and began to reflect about my life. I was officially entering the last year of my thirties and despite the ride not yet being over it, had been a journey of discovery. During this decade of my life, I had travelled to various places in Spain, Cuba, Barbados, St. Lucia, Berlin, Atlanta, Miami, Jamaica, Turkey and Morocco. I had met the mystery D, given birth to two boys and started a blog, among other things.
This highlight of my life just focuses of the good – the Instagram worthy news that everyone wants to know. But it actually misses a huge chunk of my life out the not so nice and shocking things that I have put up with. Things that I sometimes free embarrassed to talk about, such as being scammed out of money by someone I thought cared about me and feeling extremely vulnerable, hating my jiggly larger sized body after pregnancy and feeling like a failure when the relationship with the boys’ father broke down.
In the mist of all these challenges, there were always glimmers of light and hope from my support network of friends. They either said what I needed to hear (or sometimes did not want to hear), gave me lots of hugs, take the kids for a few hours or sent me a supportive message. These are the family I have chosen for myself. Some have come into my life for a season, with us learning from each other. Others for a reason to support something, whilst some are still on the journey with me.
I have many different pockets of friends. As life has progressed it has got harder and harder to meet up with them. The days when I could go for a drink after work are gone, as have the last-minute dinner trips – due to relationships, children and distance. Everything now has to be planned but could still be cancelled last minute due to an ill child or health issue. However, when I meet up with friends, its as though we were never apart. It never feels awkward or strained, but sometimes I get a slight of guilt, for being unaware of what life challenges they may have been dealing with.
This month’s blog is dedicated to all my friends, whether we are still in touch or have moved on – I just want to say thank you for being part of my life journey; your contribution was valued. For those still with me I hope that it continues to get better and I appreciate all you do for me.
Remember “No friendship is an accident.” O. Henry – “Heart of the West”