On Tuesday 18th May, I will be another year older, sexier and wiser having been blessed with another rotation of the earth.
When I reflect on the past 366 days, I am astonished, amazed and saddened all at the same time. If you follow my blog, you will know that celebrated my 40th in full lockdown, it was a time of life that left me very low in the months proceeding. You can read about those times here.
I have since been introduced to Zenflexion and began my journey of self-discovery, self-mastery, manifestation and self-love. Until the lockdown I thought I loved myself but when truly faced with myself, the cracks of doubt appeared. Was I really being my own best friend? Was I really putting my self first, filling my cup so I could be of service to others? To a degree yes, but some of my thoughts and choices were not always loved based, but rather fear of failure. As my guest blogger Natalie wrote in the last post; “success is about finding the beauty in things that have gone unexpectedly”. When you possess self-worth, life is seen as journey with learning experiences rather than battles that constantly have to be fought and won.
In the past year my love for my self has increased beyond levels I could fathom. I still sometimes cry when challenges arise or feel the heavy burdens, however I soon realise that this temporary and as long as any actions are taken from a place of love, I will be supported by the universe, god, angels (whatever you choose to call it). I create my future; I dictate my pathway and I decide what or how something or someone will make me feel.
This past year has been a huge learning curve at work, which I am still riding.
I have had to learn how to manage complex personalities and really put thought in my interactions and how these can or will be perceive. I began managing extremely complex and high-profile projects, all whilst working from home. I ended a relationship that I had invested in but no longer served me and experienced death in a manner I deem a traumatic. I have improved my personal and professional relationships, as the love increased for myself and my life has pivoted to no longer wanting to be right but to be kind. I now consistently practice daily gratitude (which I get the boys to join in), its transformed how I view the world. The blessings around me are phenomenal. Even on a day when I may not feel great, there is still so much for me to appreciate.
My biggest lesson from this 40th year of life, has been the power that I hold. Through my present moments, I create my future, but if I focus on the mistakes or traumas of the past, then my present is cloudy which can negatively impact my future. The loss of Cat brought forth this lesson to me and directed me towards empowerment, I give gratitude that she is still helping me, despite no longer being physically with me.
Yesterday I went on Skuna the hot tub boat as an early birthday celebration, below is a photo that I might not have posted on my blog a year ago. I just want my light to shine bright and help those who feel a little dark. To those who don’t like it, I will quote on of my fellow Zenflexion queens “If my light is shining too bright, then put your sunglasses on!”
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